Change it Up.

I'm a little nervous to change this from a mostly blog about my kids to a blog about the things I am doing now, but since I haven't posted in over 2 years, maybe a change of genre will get more posts going.

My babies are now 7, 4, and 2.  Erin is now in second grade and Izzy is loving preschool.  Izzy starts kindergarten next year and it will be super weird having two in school all day.

I got a job in June of this past year at a gourmet market and restaurant and love it there.  I love the people, I love the food, I love the culture of foodies!  I was drowning staying home full time with the kids and am so grateful that I am able to get out of the house, talk with some people, and even make a little money.

My running has really taken off this past year.  When I started running again after I had Olive I was 25 pounds heavier and was running a 12 minute mile.  Now I'm running a 9.5 minute mile pretty comfortably and signed up for a half marathon (13.1 miles) in May.

My goal this year is to run 1000 miles.  That would mean I need to run about 20 miles a week.  I have learned that I love long distances.  I did my first double digit run (12 miles) last year and think about it often.  It was hard, but it was magical and felt amazing.  I had originally planned a 9 mile route, but I took a wrong turn and ended up being 12.  It was a pretty windy day and the first 7 miles were uphill!

My ten year goal with running is to qualify and run the Boston Marathon.  I know a lot of people want to do that and have done it, but it would mean the world to ME.  Running has become MY sport.  It's for me and it makes me incredibly happy.  I no longer run because I think that I should, but because I want to.  I crave it.

I have also switched to preferring to run outside than running on the treadmill.  I cannot do my outside pace on the treadmill.  I struggle a bit to maintain a 10 minute mile on the treadmill where a 9.5 minute mile was easy outside.  That all said to qualify for Boston I need to run a 3 hour and 40 minute marathon which translates to a 8.5 minute mile....for 26.2 miles!!!  Thankfully it is a 10 year goal.

So this blog will most likely migrate to being a blog about running and random pictures of my kids.

 Girls watching a movie nicely....for once.

 Snowman building!!!

 New haircut for me.

New running shoes!!!!!

Fog

Olive has finally started sleeping through the night most nights!  I feel like I am coming out of a fog.  It feels like there is more space in my life.  I have some breathing room and it is bittersweet to me.  On one hand I can do some things in my life that I enjoy doing and do some fun things with the girls.  The other is that the days of having a squishy little baby in our house are nearly over.  I'm ready for a new phase, but I hope it's normal to feel a little sad and nostalgic about it.

Right now we have a 1st grader, a 3 year old, and a walking one year old in the house.  I range from teaching Erin how to deal with her emotions in an appropriate way to digging God knows what out of Olive's mouth.  Izzy is just our wild child.  Sometimes I call her "Walks With Thunder" because she cannot grasp what walking without stomping might be like.

I sometimes joke that this house is my prison.  But it honestly is very hard to get out when babies need naps and having kids going through the stage of running away at a store.  I dream that one day we'll be able to just walk out the door with our children, go do something fun, go out to eat, and then come home and not want to drink an entire bottle of wine and fall asleep because it was so stressful and exhausting.

Even though I long for freedom sometimes crazy ideas of homeschooling my children come to me.  I'm hoping to create several revenue streams from our homestead that will generate enough money to expedite paying off our house so Scott can eventually work less.  If I'm able to do that I will be able to be the farm girl I've always dreamt about being and wouldn't have to go get a "real" job.  In my craziness I figure that since I'll be at home why not have my children at home helping me and I could teach them.

I'll leave you with pictures of my adorable little nuggets...

Homesteading It.

We have embarked on something that we didn't plan.  Although it isn't surprising with our very independent natures.  It started with the idea to get chickens to lay us eggs.  I bake so much and we love to eat eggs, so it just made sense.  We have enough room out here so we figured we'd start small and get 5 and see if we liked it.

Scott built the coop with some ideas from the interwebs and mostly materials that we had laying around.  There are some things that don't work very well about it, but they chickens seem to like it in there.  There are  4 nesting boxes in the back, but the silly things cram all into one of them.

Turns out.....we LOVE having the chickens.  All of us love it!  And just this past week they finally started laying us eggs!!!!  Now we've been clamoring to build a much much bigger coop so we can get more!

It has been heartbreaking to see all the poultry for sale on craigslist and not be able to buy them because we didn't have anywhere to put them.  So we are taking ideas from the interwebs again and building a pallet coop.  We have little to no construction experience so we are slowly fumbling our way through it.

It doesn't help that the way I tackle a project and the way my husband tackles a project are completely opposite.  I want to jump right in without a plan and start putting stuff together.  He wants to know every step before he starts and every angle.  There may be some friction there.

However, I help keep him moving forward and he keeps me from going to fast and not having things last or look like crap.

The pallet coop is costing us nearly nothing and is half up!  Hoping this week we can get a roof on it and we can introduce our 5 chickens to their giant new home.

Six Years and Counting.

I have been a parent for over six years now.  Not very long compared to some, but the beginning is oh so exhausting.  Children are born with nothing but needs.  At first most of those needs are physical and then evolve to emotional and structural.  

I'm still wading in the mostly physical end right now and I'm tired.  I want to sleep through the night again.  Take a bath (without visitors) with a book and a glass of wine.  Shop alone.  Use the bathroom alone! 

Parent after parent warns me over and over that everything goes by too fast.  That you blink and they are graduating school.  And I don't want to be in a hurry for my babies to grow up.  I want to soak in these days of snack time and midnight rocking.  I know that I will miss them.  I can feel deep in my heart that I will ache a little when these days are done.  

On the other side of that though is a never ending struggle to accomplish anything besides the needs of the children.  At this point I have my own needs that wander outside of diapers and nursing.  I need to do things in my own areas of interest.  And I can do them, but there seems to be a cost.  It requires so much effort to carve out the time and the space to do something that I want to do.  

It will get easier.  And harder I'm told.  We'll go from learning to walk and potty training to running all over for activities and dealing with lies and attitudes.  However, right now all I can dream about is a life that doesn't revolve around nap time.

6

My beautiful Erin turned 6 today!  I can't help but think back to that first night I had all alone with her.  It was her that made me a mommy.  I think about holding her at less that 6 pounds alone, in the dark.  Intoxicated and overwhelmed with love for my tiny little girl.  Becoming a mom changed me, made me softer, gave me focus.

My whirlwind, darling girl.  I love seeing what kind of person she is, and is becoming.  She is filled with emotions and challenges me to observe mine and my reactions to them.  Teaching is so much more than instructing.....it's modeling.  And it speaks much louder.

I love my girl who tells me at least 20+ times a day that she loves me.  I love you too baby girl, so very much. ♥

Stationery card

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Regret

Regret feels horrible. Plus it is impossible to go back and redo whatever it is you regret. I don't want to get to the other side of raising babies and regret not doing more or being there more.

I want to know that I rocked my babies enough and played with them. I mostly want to look back and know that I was there.

Not to say that I won't give them space to do their own things or even teach them to play on their own (Yes I am talking about you Erin). I'm talking about taking the oppurtunities I am presented with every day to either just try and coast through the day without engaging my children. Or being there to give them what they need physically, emotionally, and to help bring joy into their lives.

I don't want to regret not being the mother I wanted to be.

Pregnant Pumpkin.

This is one of my favorite traditions!  I think one of the reasons is that Scott really gets into.  He bought a book with some patterns this year and some carving tools.  Erin picked out the grim reaper and Izzy got a kitty with wings on it.  He does such a nice job!

Izzy loved her pumpkin!  It was cold from being outside so she kept hugging it and then saying "Cold!"

If we think something that Izzy does is cute then Erin has to do it too.  But who am I kidding, she is adorable hugging her pumpkin too.

Got a picture of my tiny pumpkin too!  Such a cute little nugget.  I still can't believe I have three beautiful girls...

Cracking open the first pumpkin.  

I have to demand pictures be taken of me too to prove that I was really there.  Sure one could assume that I was there since someone had to be taking the other pictures.  But I want to be in pictures too with my little family!

Why yes, that is a slight look of disgust on Erin's face as she digs out the seeds.  

Her pumpkin had started growing seeds inside, so there were a bunch of these little seedlings in there!  I guess it was a mama pumpkin.

Izzy didn't care too much for sticking her hand in there to get the seeds either.  I got her a spoon and she liked that even if a lot of it ended up on the floor.

We only got two of the four pumpkins carved.  Olive was fussy and wanted to be held so only one of us could help with the carving.  Then it was getting late and our girls needed to be bathed.  I also didn't get a picture of the pumpkins that did get finished either....  Must remember to do that.

Traditions.

Scott and I wanted to have family traditions. One of the first that we started was pumpkins in the fall. We did sugar pumpkins first to do pumpkin pie. Then once we had Erin we started carving pumpkins. It wasn't something I did growing up. The traditions give all something to look forward to and things we will remember. Also they bring us together as a family. I didn't have children to help out with chores on the farm. I want to spend time with my children. I want memories. Traditions are one way I ensure memories are made.

Mine.

My angel girl. Now that I have three I sometimes have stop myself in the midst of meeting their needs to lean back and really see my tiny baby. Sure I've done it all before, but she's here and she's mine. I want to soak it in while I can and not just blaze through it because it's old hat. I want to soak you in Olive baby. Imprinting your smell and the feel of your little body in my arms. I want to remember the nights I spend rocking and nursing you. You're my third baby, but your my only Olive.

New Life.

Sure I'm still in the middle of changing diapers and late night feedings.  Nap times, snack times, potty training and rocking babies.  Things are different for me now though.

I have either been gestating or lactating since 2005.  I lost a bunch of weight once I finally weaned Erin.  It was great I was down to my ideal weight of 125 and then got pregnant with Izzy about 2 months later.  Between weaning Izzy and getting pregnant with Olive I had about a month of my body to myself.  But now...NOW, I may still be nursing a pretty baby but I know that we are done having children and once I get back to a weight I can feel good about I don't have to worry about it all going away due to growing another human inside myself.

We have begun the end of the baby years.  I know that I am going to miss it.  I am going to yearn for my babies to be tiny again and snuggle them on my chest.  I am also excited to see where time takes us.  The women these little girls are going to become.  The way our relationships are going to change as their need for me changes.  On the flip side I get to look forward to a new chapter in my life.  I can start to focus more on the things that I want to do in my life, things that I'm passionate about as my babies will begin to be able to more and more for themselves.

Other changes going on around here besides adding a new baby.  The big girls have moved into the same room.  We only have 3 bedrooms so we decided it would make the most sense to have Erin and Izzy share a room.  It has been adventuresome so far.  Last night they were awake at 3:30 am and I went downstairs to find Erin in Izzy's crib...  If Izzy wakes up, then she wakes up Erin and it usually takes them a few hours to fall back to sleep when they were on their own.  Now it can take even longer!!  I would like to think that would mean that they slept in to make up for the lost sleep.  Nope.  Which makes for some crabby girls.  Hopefully it will bet better the longer they share a room.

 

Scott is going to be home another two weeks still.  So he won't be working Halloween!  We are going out trick or treating with some friends that have girls about the same age as our's.  They are going to be so stinking cute in their costumes!

Things...

So far, things are good with three kids at home. Of course Scott is off of work still so we can divide and conquer. That will not be the case when it's just me vs the needs of three adorable and challenging girls! I need to be so much more organized as a person now that I am a mother. I have to figure out what to do when and what works best for everyone. Unfortunately it usually means that someone is unhappy and fussing. That is exactly when I need to remember to breathe.

Olive went 4 hours between feedings last night which was amazing! The big girls seems to be getting up at 7 am these days, which makes me nervous for the time change coming up. We started putting them to bed later since the time change will push the time back. However, they are not sleeping any later! So that 7 am wake up time turns into 6 am soon. Way too early!! Hopefully the extended darkness in the morning will help them sleep longer. Hopefully.

We have been canning machines around here. It started with raspberry preserves from raspberries that we picked at a local pick-your-own farm. Then we moved onto applesauce and apple pie filling from the apple tree in our yard. This is the first year that we have taken advantage of the apples that our trees produce more than just eating a few and making some pie or crisp. Finally we went back to the pick-your-own farm for their concord grape season and picked 31 pounds of grapes and turned it into jam and juice. Our house smelled so good from that! Scott also turned some of the leftover pulp into fruit leather!! Canning makes me feel so virtuous. I love the feeling of preserving something that we grew and being able to use it later.

 In other exciting news, the Meyer Lemon tree that I got for Mother's Day this year has blooms!!! I hope this will mean lemons this winter!

Olive!!!!

Praise Jesus my pregnancy is over!!!! I know there are a lot of women out there that adore pregnancy. I....am not one of those women. I am a crabby, angry pregnant woman and I apologized nearly every day to my little family for being so hard to live with. My body hurt a lot more with this pregnancy so doing anything with the girls was very difficult. I couldn't even go for a walk because my right hip would start doing something weird and send shooting pain down my leg!

Now that baby Olive is here in our arms my body says thank you and I have so much more energy than I did. Even the broken sleep isn't seeming all that bad because I don't have the extra person in my person to carry around.

All my babies arrived during the 36th week of pregnancy. My body must just decide that enough is enough and pushes the eject button. Once again my labor stalled at 5cm and they gave me pitocin. With Izzy it took 4 hours once they started Pitocin, but with Olive an hour and a half and she was here! She was my most painful birth, but it was the fastest.

Erin and Izzy are loving having baby Olive around. They want to see her and hold her all the time. Olive just wants to sleep mostly.

Scott and I are outnumbered now, but our life and routine doesn't seem all that different from having two. Erin is in Kindergarten so that helps give her something else to do and us a break. She has afternoon Kindergarten and Izzy goes for her nap at that time so it is a nice break for us.

Three girls....I never thought I would end up with three girls. However, I do feel very lucky. I have three beautiful, healthy children. I'm excited to see how all our relationships evolve. Also to see the different personalities that each of my baby girls is going to have. It's going to be an interesting ride!

Garden Woes.

This is what our garden was looking like. So sad. I had such high hopes for this year! There ARE plants in there, but they have been drowned by weeds. I have weeded several times, but being pregnant and weeding are not friends.

THIS is our compost pile! Some seeds got happy in there and grew huge plants. Time has proven that we have gourds and butternut squash growing in there. We have picked probably 20 gourds already.

So sad that our "vegetable" garden turned out so pathetic this year. We'll put a bunch of compost and till it in this fall. Next year I won't be pregnant and I bet gardening will be much easier! Try, try again...

In case anyone is wondering. I blame this guy for our garden failure. HE isn't pregnant!

News.

Apparently Erin still fits in the walker. Why she wanted to sit in there???? Not sure.

Izzy loves the camera! Such a cutie!

And the camera loves her! What a pretty girl!

Here's our new baby on the way. Our last baby. Is a boy???? Nobody knows, but we are hoping. This pregnancy has been different that with the girls. I have not been as sick...thankfully! We'll hopefully find out for sure around the beginning of June.