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Blossoming Joy Christmas Card

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Regret

Regret feels horrible. Plus it is impossible to go back and redo whatever it is you regret. I don't want to get to the other side of raising babies and regret not doing more or being there more.

I want to know that I rocked my babies enough and played with them. I mostly want to look back and know that I was there.

Not to say that I won't give them space to do their own things or even teach them to play on their own (Yes I am talking about you Erin). I'm talking about taking the oppurtunities I am presented with every day to either just try and coast through the day without engaging my children. Or being there to give them what they need physically, emotionally, and to help bring joy into their lives.

I don't want to regret not being the mother I wanted to be.

Pregnant Pumpkin.

This is one of my favorite traditions!  I think one of the reasons is that Scott really gets into.  He bought a book with some patterns this year and some carving tools.  Erin picked out the grim reaper and Izzy got a kitty with wings on it.  He does such a nice job!

Izzy loved her pumpkin!  It was cold from being outside so she kept hugging it and then saying "Cold!"

If we think something that Izzy does is cute then Erin has to do it too.  But who am I kidding, she is adorable hugging her pumpkin too.

Got a picture of my tiny pumpkin too!  Such a cute little nugget.  I still can't believe I have three beautiful girls...

Cracking open the first pumpkin.  

I have to demand pictures be taken of me too to prove that I was really there.  Sure one could assume that I was there since someone had to be taking the other pictures.  But I want to be in pictures too with my little family!

Why yes, that is a slight look of disgust on Erin's face as she digs out the seeds.  

Her pumpkin had started growing seeds inside, so there were a bunch of these little seedlings in there!  I guess it was a mama pumpkin.

Izzy didn't care too much for sticking her hand in there to get the seeds either.  I got her a spoon and she liked that even if a lot of it ended up on the floor.

We only got two of the four pumpkins carved.  Olive was fussy and wanted to be held so only one of us could help with the carving.  Then it was getting late and our girls needed to be bathed.  I also didn't get a picture of the pumpkins that did get finished either....  Must remember to do that.

Traditions.

Scott and I wanted to have family traditions. One of the first that we started was pumpkins in the fall. We did sugar pumpkins first to do pumpkin pie. Then once we had Erin we started carving pumpkins. It wasn't something I did growing up. The traditions give all something to look forward to and things we will remember. Also they bring us together as a family. I didn't have children to help out with chores on the farm. I want to spend time with my children. I want memories. Traditions are one way I ensure memories are made.

Mine.

My angel girl. Now that I have three I sometimes have stop myself in the midst of meeting their needs to lean back and really see my tiny baby. Sure I've done it all before, but she's here and she's mine. I want to soak it in while I can and not just blaze through it because it's old hat. I want to soak you in Olive baby. Imprinting your smell and the feel of your little body in my arms. I want to remember the nights I spend rocking and nursing you. You're my third baby, but your my only Olive.

New Life.

Sure I'm still in the middle of changing diapers and late night feedings.  Nap times, snack times, potty training and rocking babies.  Things are different for me now though.

I have either been gestating or lactating since 2005.  I lost a bunch of weight once I finally weaned Erin.  It was great I was down to my ideal weight of 125 and then got pregnant with Izzy about 2 months later.  Between weaning Izzy and getting pregnant with Olive I had about a month of my body to myself.  But now...NOW, I may still be nursing a pretty baby but I know that we are done having children and once I get back to a weight I can feel good about I don't have to worry about it all going away due to growing another human inside myself.

We have begun the end of the baby years.  I know that I am going to miss it.  I am going to yearn for my babies to be tiny again and snuggle them on my chest.  I am also excited to see where time takes us.  The women these little girls are going to become.  The way our relationships are going to change as their need for me changes.  On the flip side I get to look forward to a new chapter in my life.  I can start to focus more on the things that I want to do in my life, things that I'm passionate about as my babies will begin to be able to more and more for themselves.

Other changes going on around here besides adding a new baby.  The big girls have moved into the same room.  We only have 3 bedrooms so we decided it would make the most sense to have Erin and Izzy share a room.  It has been adventuresome so far.  Last night they were awake at 3:30 am and I went downstairs to find Erin in Izzy's crib...  If Izzy wakes up, then she wakes up Erin and it usually takes them a few hours to fall back to sleep when they were on their own.  Now it can take even longer!!  I would like to think that would mean that they slept in to make up for the lost sleep.  Nope.  Which makes for some crabby girls.  Hopefully it will bet better the longer they share a room.

 

Scott is going to be home another two weeks still.  So he won't be working Halloween!  We are going out trick or treating with some friends that have girls about the same age as our's.  They are going to be so stinking cute in their costumes!

Things...

So far, things are good with three kids at home. Of course Scott is off of work still so we can divide and conquer. That will not be the case when it's just me vs the needs of three adorable and challenging girls! I need to be so much more organized as a person now that I am a mother. I have to figure out what to do when and what works best for everyone. Unfortunately it usually means that someone is unhappy and fussing. That is exactly when I need to remember to breathe.

Olive went 4 hours between feedings last night which was amazing! The big girls seems to be getting up at 7 am these days, which makes me nervous for the time change coming up. We started putting them to bed later since the time change will push the time back. However, they are not sleeping any later! So that 7 am wake up time turns into 6 am soon. Way too early!! Hopefully the extended darkness in the morning will help them sleep longer. Hopefully.

We have been canning machines around here. It started with raspberry preserves from raspberries that we picked at a local pick-your-own farm. Then we moved onto applesauce and apple pie filling from the apple tree in our yard. This is the first year that we have taken advantage of the apples that our trees produce more than just eating a few and making some pie or crisp. Finally we went back to the pick-your-own farm for their concord grape season and picked 31 pounds of grapes and turned it into jam and juice. Our house smelled so good from that! Scott also turned some of the leftover pulp into fruit leather!! Canning makes me feel so virtuous. I love the feeling of preserving something that we grew and being able to use it later.

 In other exciting news, the Meyer Lemon tree that I got for Mother's Day this year has blooms!!! I hope this will mean lemons this winter!

Olive!!!!

Praise Jesus my pregnancy is over!!!! I know there are a lot of women out there that adore pregnancy. I....am not one of those women. I am a crabby, angry pregnant woman and I apologized nearly every day to my little family for being so hard to live with. My body hurt a lot more with this pregnancy so doing anything with the girls was very difficult. I couldn't even go for a walk because my right hip would start doing something weird and send shooting pain down my leg!

Now that baby Olive is here in our arms my body says thank you and I have so much more energy than I did. Even the broken sleep isn't seeming all that bad because I don't have the extra person in my person to carry around.

All my babies arrived during the 36th week of pregnancy. My body must just decide that enough is enough and pushes the eject button. Once again my labor stalled at 5cm and they gave me pitocin. With Izzy it took 4 hours once they started Pitocin, but with Olive an hour and a half and she was here! She was my most painful birth, but it was the fastest.

Erin and Izzy are loving having baby Olive around. They want to see her and hold her all the time. Olive just wants to sleep mostly.

Scott and I are outnumbered now, but our life and routine doesn't seem all that different from having two. Erin is in Kindergarten so that helps give her something else to do and us a break. She has afternoon Kindergarten and Izzy goes for her nap at that time so it is a nice break for us.

Three girls....I never thought I would end up with three girls. However, I do feel very lucky. I have three beautiful, healthy children. I'm excited to see how all our relationships evolve. Also to see the different personalities that each of my baby girls is going to have. It's going to be an interesting ride!

Garden Woes.

This is what our garden was looking like. So sad. I had such high hopes for this year! There ARE plants in there, but they have been drowned by weeds. I have weeded several times, but being pregnant and weeding are not friends.

THIS is our compost pile! Some seeds got happy in there and grew huge plants. Time has proven that we have gourds and butternut squash growing in there. We have picked probably 20 gourds already.

So sad that our "vegetable" garden turned out so pathetic this year. We'll put a bunch of compost and till it in this fall. Next year I won't be pregnant and I bet gardening will be much easier! Try, try again...

In case anyone is wondering. I blame this guy for our garden failure. HE isn't pregnant!

News.

Apparently Erin still fits in the walker. Why she wanted to sit in there???? Not sure.

Izzy loves the camera! Such a cutie!

And the camera loves her! What a pretty girl!

Here's our new baby on the way. Our last baby. Is a boy???? Nobody knows, but we are hoping. This pregnancy has been different that with the girls. I have not been as sick...thankfully! We'll hopefully find out for sure around the beginning of June.

I Want Daddy!

Erin woke up in the middle of the night and came into our room and said that her tummy hurt. It had been hurting off and on for a few weeks and I didn't think much of it, so I just told her to climb into bed.

She would occasionally lament about her tummy, and I comforted her and rubbed her back. One of these times I was rubbing her back when all of a sudden she sat up. I asked her if she was going to throw up, she didn't answer. So I asked her again....nothing, and then I felt something wet on my hand. Awesome.

I rushed to turn the light on and ran to our bathroom to get something to wipe up the vomit and catch the rest. Scott still lay comatose while all this happened. After she finished I wiped it up and wiped her down and took her pajamas off that had vomit on them. I took that pile of lovely smelling fabric to the laundry room to wash them up. All of a sudden Erin shows up with the bed sheet with vomit on it in her arms.

"Did daddy send you to bring this to me?"

"Yes."

So he is OUT while the tummy trouble and vomiting are going on and then sends the sick one to bring the sheet into the laundry! He finally wakes up enough to get Erin a glass so she can rinse out her mouth.

After we get her all cleaned up and ready to get her tucked back into bed she tells me.

"Mommy, I want to sleep by daddy and you can sleep by yourself!"

**Update: A clarification needs to be made I guess according the the only male in our home. Erin was sent to the laundry room with the dirty sheet because she was bouncing around so much due to feeling so much better after throwing up.

*Even though I may have sounded deeply offended that Erin wanted to snuggle with daddy instead of mommy after being elbow deep (exaggeration) in her vomit, I love seeing her love and want her daddy! Not sure there is anything more sweet than seeing little girls snuggle with their daddy!!! ♥

**Erin is finally doing better. A waffle was ingested this morning after much pleading on her part. That waffle met the rest of our bed sheets in a very sticky fashion. However, she is running around with her sister now and has kept some lemon lime soda and crackers down!

Oops.

We knew the soda upstairs was getting slushy. We knew that it was getting quite cold at night. We knew what happens when soda freezes. And yet, we did nothing. Not until I was feeding the girls breakfast and it sounded like a person or a large animal was in our garage. I grabbed my phone, had the police on speed dial, took a deep breath and opened the door. Nothing. Then the light bulb went on. The soda. Upstairs. Exploded.

Here is my lovely Vanna White displaying the shredded can. After it dawned on me what had happened, I went up to the loft and took the police off speed dial just in case I accidentally hit the send button and had to explain that I'm not smart enough to remove my soda from sub-zero temperatures. It was messy and I was scared to go up there in case more soda decided to evacuate it's container.

The good news. Frozen soda is pretty easy to clean up with a broom and dustpan. Even off a ceiling! Yes, the soda has been moved to a non-freezing area of the house. I'd like to say this will never happen again, but I may be lying.

Snowy Days.

Tons of snow this year! Some years we wait until close to Christmas for snow. Not this year. Blizzard after blizzard, and usually on weekends. It has ruined many a plan, but I'd rather be warm and alive than....well you know.

Our huge pine trees look so beeeeyooootiful draped in snow!

Here's the backyard. The snow got so deep after a few more of these that it covered these chairs!

Erin's first snow angel.

Blizzard number...well number after the first one anyway. Ridiculous amounts of snow!

Whoever sent the backhoe to dig us out, I love you. It also made a bonafide sledding hill right in our front yard. All that snow had to go somewhere.

Erin got tired of trying to drag a sled up there and get on it before it took off without her. We bought a new sled this year that we could use with Izzy. Problem is that it got buried in one of the blizzards and we haven't been able to find it.

And after she made it top she decided the most fun could be had by rolling down. The first time I caught it out of the corner of my eye I gasped and panicked before I realized that she did it on purpose. Silly girl!