I was looking forward to my time in the hospital to bond with Izzy. However, she was born at 2am and we didn't get to our room until 5:30 am where the sun was coming up. A short few hours later family was arriving to meet Izzy and then there were doctors, nurses, neonatologists showing up seemingly every 20 minutes so there was very little down time for us. Once we were back home we needed balance the needs of the new baby with the needs of the new big sister along with getting some food and sleep. All of this made it very hard to feel a bond with Izzy and not just see her as one more thing I had to try and do.
I didn't know what was wrong with me. With Erin we bonded the very first night! I felt like a bad mom and wondered if I would always favor Erin now. It's not like kids can't see if someone favors someone over them. I voiced my fears to my husband who assured me that I was not a bad mom. I felt a little better and tried to just trust that it would happen. At my six week postpartum appointment with my midwife, I brought it up to her. She said that what I was feeling was perfectly normal and happens a lot with second babies. With the first baby every thing is new and exciting and you can sleep when the baby sleeps and all that. With the second baby, you have already done the newborn thing and lets face it. . . it is A LOT of work! Plus you have the first child to take care of as well so you can't just sleep whenever the baby is sleeping! I felt so much better after talking to my midwife.
I finally was able to relax about the whole situation just in time for Izzy to start smiling and cooing at me, which is great for feelings of bonding. Taking care of her is still a tremendous amount work, plus diffusing three year old tantrums. Seriously, why on earth is three worse than two???