Saturday, December 08, 2012

Fog



Olive has finally started sleeping through the night most nights!  I feel like I am coming out of a fog.  It feels like there is more space in my life.  I have some breathing room and it is bittersweet to me.  On one hand I can do some things in my life that I enjoy doing and do some fun things with the girls.  The other is that the days of having a squishy little baby in our house are nearly over.  I'm ready for a new phase, but I hope it's normal to feel a little sad and nostalgic about it.

Right now we have a 1st grader, a 3 year old, and a walking one year old in the house.  I range from teaching Erin how to deal with her emotions in an appropriate way to digging God knows what out of Olive's mouth.  Izzy is just our wild child.  Sometimes I call her "Walks With Thunder" because she cannot grasp what walking without stomping might be like.

I sometimes joke that this house is my prison.  But it honestly is very hard to get out when babies need naps and having kids going through the stage of running away at a store.  I dream that one day we'll be able to just walk out the door with our children, go do something fun, go out to eat, and then come home and not want to drink an entire bottle of wine and fall asleep because it was so stressful and exhausting.

Even though I long for freedom sometimes crazy ideas of homeschooling my children come to me.  I'm hoping to create several revenue streams from our homestead that will generate enough money to expedite paying off our house so Scott can eventually work less.  If I'm able to do that I will be able to be the farm girl I've always dreamt about being and wouldn't have to go get a "real" job.  In my craziness I figure that since I'll be at home why not have my children at home helping me and I could teach them.

I'll leave you with pictures of my adorable little nuggets...